Tales of the Parodyverse

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Jack
Sun Apr 24, 2005 at 12:55:21 pm EDT
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Fleabot's Gift (part two)
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Gloria sat in her usual booth Tuesday morning with her chemistry homework spread out on her table. Today was the Friday that Gloria got out of school for Christmas break. To celebrate the season, Fleatbot wore a pair of miniature antlers on top of his head, which Gloria found delightful.

Fleabot walked around Gloria’s notebook observing her progress as she sketched a simple molecular structure. Chemistry was Gloria’s favorite subject and Fleabot offered his tutoring services before Gloria had to go to school.

“Good. It’s easy enough you see,” Fleabot said. “But something you ought to remember is that when you’re drawing one of these trees like Acetylene, it’s a two dimensional representation. This is what the structure looks like as a three dimensional model.” Fleabot held out his hand and generated a hologram of the molecular structure.

“Whoa, that’s amazing,” Gloria said. Fleabot was pleased that Gloria had a healthy interest in the sciences, and he encouraged it, but he became a little wary when Gloria asked (whether being flippant or not) about explosives and the like.

As Fleabot shut off the hologram, he pointed out that Gloria only had ten minutes left to catch the bus.

“Would you like me to check your e-mail before you go?” Asked Fleabot.

“No, no thanks.”

“Live journal?”

“No, it’s fine.”

“Are you sure? I check my e-mail every five minutes.” Fleabot said. “What’s wrong Gloria?”

As Gloria stuffed her Chemistry and note book in her backpack, she looked at Fleabot and said, “Go ahead and check my e-mail if you want to find out.” Fleabot raised his left eyebrow, and he gave Gloria a curious look. As Gloria stood up from the table, she said, “See ya,” and Fleabot waved good-bye.

Fleabot was genuinely curious what was bugging Gloria, but he felt weird about checking someone else’s e-mail when they weren't present. “Well, she said it was alright.” He depressed a small button on the side of his antlers and an antenna appeared out of the top of one. Then, he searched for the nearest bandwidth and got a connection in five seconds. “I’m getting slow,” Fleabot said. As Fleabot stood on the table, he logged into Gloria’s hotmail account. As he read her e-mail inside his brain he said, “Oh my,” and things like, “The hell? Someone’s got a real potty mouth on them.”

As Fleabot retracted the antenna back into his antler, he left the table, shaking his head. “She wasn’t exaggerating when she said has no friends there. Well, that could always change, but in the meantime, I’m going to help her.” As Fleabot left Bean and Donut, he wrapped a red scarf around his neck and dialed Lissette’s phone number.

After talking to Lissette, Fleabot made his way to his secret lab/ machine shop under the infamous LL Mansion. There were many random and useful objects lying about on his workbenches. On a little foam head was a fake beard and hairpiece for when Fleabot had to blend in at a convention held on the back of a Border Collie.

Fleabot grabbed a pencil and sat down at his drafting table. “What form should he take? Yes, definitely. And he should reflect just a little of her personality as well.” Fleabot worked long and hard through the night. He wanted to give Gloria something special, and something to watch over her when he might not be around. After all, he was a busy fleabot who went on missions with Visionary and may be away for long periods of time. After he sketched a solid design, he went over the calculations several times in his mind. First, he would need metallic glass, fiber optics, nano-carbon tubes, and several other materials before he could begin fabricating his design. This would be a glorious gift.

Lissette decided to spend Christmas Eve at Gloria’s house with her and her mom. She had to give Gloria her present, and Hell’s Bathroom still had to be rebuilt after the monstrous inferno several months ago, so Zero Street Mission was still packed at the moment. Lissette decided she would go there tomorrow with Beth and check things out.

Gloria’s mom was a sweet woman in her mid-forties with black hair, just like her daughter’s. She wore a back brace and sat on the couch, watching Gloria string popcorn for the Christmas tree.

Gloria’s black braids fell in her face from time to time as she concentrated on skewering popcorn with her needle and thread. Lisette stood on a ladder, wrapping red and gold tinsel around the Christmas tree. Just then, the doorbell rang.

“Oh, who could that be?” Gloria’s mom asked.

“I think I know,” Lissette said as she looked down at Gloria and gave her a wink. “Why don’t you answer the door honey?”

Gloria looked up at Lissette and smiled. She got up and walked over to the door. When she opened it, she was very surprised to see Fleabot in a Santa’s outfit holding a large round box over his head.

“Flea Santa!” Gloria greeted half sarcastically, although she was very happy to see him.

“What are you doing here? I thought you would be hanging out with the LL.”

“Oh, I will be,” said Fleabot. “But first, Santa had to bring a young woman her present.”

Fleabot had made himself the size of a squirrel to balance the mass of the box he carried. He waddled into Gloria’s home and set the box down on the living room floor next to Gloria’s bowl of popcorn.

“Oooh, is that for me?” Gloria asked.

“Yes, but first, have you been a good girl?” Fleabot teased.

“Not really,” Gloria answered flatly.

“Well, good enough I suppose.”

As Lissette stepped off the ladder, holding tinsel, Fleabot motioned to Gloria for her to sit on the floor with him. When Gloria was kneeling on the floor, Fleabot pushed the box in front of her. Fleabot chuckled to himself as he watched Gloria bounce up and down in anticipation.

“Ok, go for it,” Fleabot said. Gloria slowly undid the yellow ribbon, and then she took the lid off the box. Inside the box was a blue robotic cat.

“Oh my god. It’s a dead,” said Gloria as she jumped back and let out a little shriek.

“No, no it’s not dead,” Fleabot tried to reassure her. “Here, give me your hand.” Gloria hesitantly gave Fleabot her hand, and together they pressed a button on the back of the cat’s neck. The robotic cat jerked and spammed for a moment as it emitted digital sounds. Bloop, bloop, blip. The cat raised its head and began scanning the room. He wore what looked like a pair of welder’s goggles. Lisette and Gloria’s mom watched in wonderment.

“Gloria, this is Catbot.”

“Wow,” Gloria said. “Why’s he wearing those goggles?”

“The goggles are apart of his eyes Gloria. Catbot can see in inferred, x-ray, thermal, night vision and has a hundred different filters. He also has binocular vision and can see for two miles in a straight line regardless of obstacles.”

“Can he understand us?” Gloria asked.

“Oh yes, he’s completely sentient. Catbot, this is Gloria.”

“They say most of your brain shuts down in cryo-sleep, all but the primitive side, the kitty side- must be why I’m still awake,” Catbot said.

“You just woke up dufus,” Fleabot pointed out.

“Oh.”

“He’s adorable,” Gloria gushed. Catbot saw Gloria and jumped out of his box and into her arms. He began to purr and rub his head against her face.

“Is he house broken,” Gloria’s mom asked.

“Quite so Miss,” Fleabot reassured. “Gloria, Catbot will be your protector, your servant and your friend. He will be with you always. As you grow and learn, he will too. Enjoy each other’s company.” Fleabot was about to say something more, but Gloria snatched him up and repeatedly kissed him on the forehead and cheek.

“Thank you, thank you so much.” Gloria said as Fleabot tried to defend himself from her attacks.

“Your quite welcome. And now, it’s about time for me to make an appearance at Visionary’s. Good evening Lisette. Take care Gloria and take care of her Catbot.” Fleabot showed himself out the door.

Lissette reached down and gave Catbot a good rub on the head before sitting down on the couch. “So, tell us about yourself Catbot,” Lisette asked. Gloria watched Catbot with adoration as if receiving a new doll, and she waited for him to say something.

“As my creator said, and I have to get use to the idea that a flea created me, I’m here to serve and protect Gloria. I’m also here for her anyway I can be.”

“Yeah but tell us about yourself,” Lissette said.

“Lady, no offense, but I’m only two minutes old; I haven’t gotten to my memoirs yet.” Gloria giggled. “If you have a laptop or something of the like, I can download my specs and programming commands for you. I think Fleabot did a pretty good job.”

“I think so too smartass,” Lissette said. As Gloria grabbed Catbot and held him, Lissette watched in amusement. She was grateful that Fleabot did this for her Gloria. Lisette has come to think of Gloria as hers in a way; she identified with the kid and it felt good to love someone. The action was life.

Now Gloria had someone to watch out for her when Lissette couldn’t be there, and the kid desperately needed it. Before calling it a night, Lissette and Gloria sat on the couch with Gloria’s mom, enjoying a coco and a nice conversation. Catbot found that he couldn’t stop himself from playing with ribbon for some odd reason, which he would have to ponder at another time.

“I still have to give you your gift Gloria,” Lissette said.

“Your Cadillac?”

“Why yes, of course.” Lissette replied. Gloria looked up in anticipation for a moment, and realized Lisette thought she was being funny. “Hold on a moment.” Lissette got up from the couch and walked into the kitchen. She returned with a slender velvet box in her hand.

“Oh my god,” Gloria said, when she suspected what was in the box.

“Here you go.”

Gloria held the silver necklace and heart pendant up to the light. “It’s beautiful. None of my boyfriends ever gave my jewelry.”

“Not many of mine either,” Lisette smiled in brief melancholy reminiscence. “Merry Christmas.”

Gloria lay in bed, and Catbot sat on the end of her bed reading the complete works of Shakespeare. It was a rare and beautiful Christmas in Hell’s Bathroom, and as she stared at the heart pendant on her dresser, she felt warm inside for the first time in many severe and memorable years.


Jack Bryson
Copyright 2005.






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